Adoption is a plan YOU make for the benefit of your baby. Is it a tough choice? Yes! Is it a loving choice? Yes! Is it the right choice? Only you can decide that. The practice of adoption has been around for a long time but the nuts and bolts of how it is done are constantly evolving. In today's world of adoption you can select the parents, meet the parents and have ongoing contact with them and the child if you choose to. The families on our waiting list have been carefully screened to make sure they will provide a safe and loving home where your child will be treasured and adored.
We encourage you to contact us now to find out more. There will never be any pressure as we firmly believe adoption only works when it is a choice you have made freely and voluntarily. We welcome any questions you may have. We understand you need good information before you can make a wise decision. Calling or emailing to ask questions does not obligate you to make an adoption plan. We have been privileged to assist many individuals through the years and would count it a privilege to help you during this challenging time as well.
Making a Decision
Most birthparents who consider adoption struggle a great deal with their decision. It's very normal to go back and forth in this process. It is helpful to remember that it is a process.
You Make All The Choices.
Counseling is often very beneficial as you struggle with your decision. Real counseling isn't about telling you what you should do or pressuring you toward one side or another. It's about helping you look at your options; weighing your "pros and cons" and helping you search your heart.
At Christian Family Services, crisis pregnancy counseling is provided free of charge and is non-pressured and supportive. You are viewed as a capable person in a difficult situation. You will always be treated with respect and empathy.
Birthmothers are often at various stages of their pregnancy when considering adoption. You may have many months to make your decision or only a few short days or weeks.
It's usually beneficial to have come to a tentative decision about plans for your baby by your seventh month of pregnancy. However, we know that this isn't always possible. And, we also know some will change their decision after the baby is born. However, counseling can help you face the issues in your life and ease the decision making process. Having a direction several weeks before birth can greatly help in the preparation process to come.
No decision is final until after the baby is born. At that time, your counselor will help you re-process the decision once again. If you still remain confident that adoption is the best plan for your child, your final decision is then carried through by signing necessary legal paper work. The exact procedures will vary depending upon the State in which the adoption occurs.
As mentioned before, the decision you face is a process. We hope you will make use of the counseling services provided by Christian Family Services to help you through this difficult time. The sooner you start the counseling process the better. We are able to meet with you outside the CFS office if this is more convenient for you. We will work with your schedule to find the time and place that works best for you.
You will be asked at some point and time to provide the agency with background and health information. This is important to pass on to your child. It is also a part of the legal requirements of the court. Generally, you will select the adoptive family you want for your child about your seventh month - although you can do so earlier or later if you desire. You will find us very flexible in working with you. You are the one ultimately in control of your adoption plan.
As noted earlier, the legal process differs depending upon your State of residence. Whatever process applies to you is gone over in great detail. You are shown the legal documents you will need to sign after the birth of the baby. It's very important that you are fully aware of and understand the adoption documents. You do not sign any legal documents until after the birth of the child and you are ready to do so. You will receive copies of everything you sign.
How Will I Feel?
You probably have a lot of mixed feelings right now. Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do.
Not everyone feels the same way. But most birthparents go through various feelings of shock, anger, sadness and confusion among other emotions. Many birthparents also feel relief in knowing there are adoptive families who can provide their children a happy and stable home. Many feel a sense of joy in being able to help a couple fulfill their dream of parenting and loving a child. Many grow to care deeply for the adoptive parents as they realize they also want to provide what is best for the child.
You may experience more emotions than you thought possible. It's important to deal with your feelings and not bury them. Concluding that you are not prepared or able to be the best parent for your child at this time does not mean you are an inadequate or bad person. It is an indication that you are seeking the best for this new life you are giving birth to. This is another way in which counseling can be very beneficial.
Who Are the Adoptive Parents?
We carefully screen and evaluate all couples who seek to adopt through CFS. They must go through a detailed examination of their personal backgrounds, marriage relationship, psychological and emotional stability, financial responsibility and their views on children and parenting.
Adoptive parents also are required to attend an educational workshop where they learn about various issues related to adoption. They learn that "birthparents don't care" is really not true! They learn that a child may want to know their birthparents and they understand and accept that this is not a threat to them. They learn the importance of being open with their children about adoption and how to encourage positive feelings about being adopted.
Adoptive parents who are approved through our agency are Christian people who very much wish to share their love and their lives with a child. They see adoption as a very positive way to have or enlarge their family. They understand that, although they will love this child as their very own, the child is special in that he or she has a unique heritage provided by his or her birthparents as well. Remember, You Make All The Choices.
We have some very special people that are currently waiting to love your baby.
It is normal to go through a grieving time after being separated from your child and after you have followed through with an adoption plan. This may be the time you need the support and sympathetic ear of your counselor the most.
It is important to realize that your feelings are normal and have little to do with your continued belief that adoption is the best plan for you and your baby. You will have ups and downs. You have been through a tremendous experience that will have changed you forever. Although it is a difficult experience, it will provide you with an opportunity for personal growth.
We understand adoption is not just a one-time decision, but a lifetime experience. Should you make an adoption plan through CFS, our commitment to you is ongoing. It is common for us to still be in contact with birthparents who made adoption plans years ago. Caring relationships are most often developed. You can be assured of our commitment to be a resource to you throughout the years.
We are here for you! For real help, contact us today.
(See the Pregnancy Menu in the right column for more information)
Week 2 - Conception is the moment at which the sperm penetrates the ovum. Once fertilized it is called a zygote, until it reaches the uterus 3-4 days later.
Week 4 - The embryo may float freely in the uterus for about 48 hours before implanting. Upon implantation, complex connections between the mother and embryo develop to form the placenta.Read More...